Rev. Daddy

Sometimes is it tough balance the two huge jobs of being a father, responsible for raising, caring for and loving the children the Lord has entrusted me with and being a pastor, caring for the congregation and community in which the Lord has sent me. Often times the responsibilities of the church require me to be aware from my family, to miss putting the boys to sleep or giving them their dinner or taking care of them when they are in need. Sometimes the responsibilities of fatherhood require me to miss the occasional meeting, to not be present with someone at the exact moment they need me or to have to get up from the table to go chase one of the blessings.

Walking this fine line is ofter very difficulty. When I am at the office I constantly think about what I am missing not being at home with my boys, the hugs I am missing, the darnedest things I will not hear them say, the smiles that would light up my soul and the opportunity to see them at an age they will both too quickly grow out of. When I am at home, I have trouble thinking about the tasks and others things which need to be accomplished at the church, the sermons that need to be written, the books I need to finish reading, the cards that need to be written, reports that need to be reviewed and visits that need to be made.

I suppose it is this way in most professions, but for some reason I feel it is especially difficult for clergy. One of the joys of my job is that I can have flexible hours if needed. The other day I had to leave early to pick up a sick boy from the sitter's house. While there was nothing on my schedule for the day and plenty of time remaining in the week to finish the week's tasks, missing out on being available and here when there was a group of 20 or so people was difficult.

I have made it a point to put my children as a priority over my work at the church. The list goes: 1) God, 2) Family, 3) The church. It wasn't too far into my ministry career that I realized the need to separate (in my mind that is) God and my work in the church. If I say no to something at the church, I am not saying no to God. The problem I had was that I did not understand the difference between my relationship with God and my work at the church. Saying no to the church about a meeting or event is not the same as telling God I will not do something. (As I reflect on this, I wonder if lay people ever worry about this when they tell me or the nominating committee no all the time?) Once this distinction occurred to me, it helped me understand how to make family a priority over the church without sacrificing my relationship with God or having feelings of guilt.

Being a pastor and being a father of young children is a difficult balance. I hope I never stop wanting to spend as much time as possible with my boys. I also hope that I never stop wanting to do the work of God through the capacity he has called me to. I also pray that He continues to give me His wisdom and guidance to know is the right and necessary time to do which.

My prayer for all those who read this is that God give you the guidance and ability to discern when you need to be employed by him or laid aside by him (for the sake of your family).

May the peace of Christ be with you,
Chris