Rev. Daddy

Sometimes is it tough balance the two huge jobs of being a father, responsible for raising, caring for and loving the children the Lord has entrusted me with and being a pastor, caring for the congregation and community in which the Lord has sent me. Often times the responsibilities of the church require me to be aware from my family, to miss putting the boys to sleep or giving them their dinner or taking care of them when they are in need. Sometimes the responsibilities of fatherhood require me to miss the occasional meeting, to not be present with someone at the exact moment they need me or to have to get up from the table to go chase one of the blessings.

Walking this fine line is ofter very difficulty. When I am at the office I constantly think about what I am missing not being at home with my boys, the hugs I am missing, the darnedest things I will not hear them say, the smiles that would light up my soul and the opportunity to see them at an age they will both too quickly grow out of. When I am at home, I have trouble thinking about the tasks and others things which need to be accomplished at the church, the sermons that need to be written, the books I need to finish reading, the cards that need to be written, reports that need to be reviewed and visits that need to be made.

I suppose it is this way in most professions, but for some reason I feel it is especially difficult for clergy. One of the joys of my job is that I can have flexible hours if needed. The other day I had to leave early to pick up a sick boy from the sitter's house. While there was nothing on my schedule for the day and plenty of time remaining in the week to finish the week's tasks, missing out on being available and here when there was a group of 20 or so people was difficult.

I have made it a point to put my children as a priority over my work at the church. The list goes: 1) God, 2) Family, 3) The church. It wasn't too far into my ministry career that I realized the need to separate (in my mind that is) God and my work in the church. If I say no to something at the church, I am not saying no to God. The problem I had was that I did not understand the difference between my relationship with God and my work at the church. Saying no to the church about a meeting or event is not the same as telling God I will not do something. (As I reflect on this, I wonder if lay people ever worry about this when they tell me or the nominating committee no all the time?) Once this distinction occurred to me, it helped me understand how to make family a priority over the church without sacrificing my relationship with God or having feelings of guilt.

Being a pastor and being a father of young children is a difficult balance. I hope I never stop wanting to spend as much time as possible with my boys. I also hope that I never stop wanting to do the work of God through the capacity he has called me to. I also pray that He continues to give me His wisdom and guidance to know is the right and necessary time to do which.

My prayer for all those who read this is that God give you the guidance and ability to discern when you need to be employed by him or laid aside by him (for the sake of your family).

May the peace of Christ be with you,
Chris

Mydays, sabbath & faithfulness

So I have been delinquent in my posts the past few days.

I had a wonderful day of sabbath on Friday. I started referring to Fridays as Mydays. I love Mydays. Perhaps it is somewhat to very selfish and not right considering my wife doesn't get Mydays, but I feel like I am truly starting to understand this whole sabbath thing. On Mydays I only do things that I chose to do, nothing that I have to do. It used to be the pattern that I would do laundry, clean the house, mow the lawn etc., you know, the chores. As I have begun to further understand the need for sabbath and what it really means, I have come to see the chores as work, something we are commanded not to do on our sabbath. So now, sabbath means for me a day to only do those things I want to do, play with the boys (or take them to the sitter), go to the city to do whatever it is I want to do, mess around down in my wood shop and maybe be productive, just rest and relax and watch bad TV or movies (and soon, baseball).

My reflections on Saturday mainly revolved around being busy and tired, yet fulfilled and happy. I logged more steps on Saturday than I have thus far and got most of my project for the boys finished. We spent some time with friends and with each other, and generally took it easy.

Yesterday was the day that caused to most reason for reflection. It was a snowy and cold Sunday morning and we had very light worship attendance. Our attendance has been down significantly from last year, and this really concerns me. We have had several people leave because they don't agree with the direction I am leading the church. This doesn't bother me as much as it does some others because I feel I am being faithful to God and leading the church where He needs us to go. If people don't want to be on board with where God is leading the church, that is up to them. I suppose that we have had many people go out the "back door" and have many others who are not nearly as committed as they once were (for a variety of reasons, none of which really make sense to me other than their priorities need to be better arranged) and have not been getting as many in the front door. I guess this means I am not doing my job of replacing those leaving as well as I should.

It is tough though, I feel like I am being faithful to God and doing what the Kingdom needs. I have challenged this congregation to live out their faith and have said that this church will not participate in an activities that do not help us further the Kingdom of God. The congregation members think this is an unreasonable request. I have been told that my job is to find out what the people who are already a part of the church want, and do that. I have been told that my job is to take care of the members and that I should spend the majority of time doing just that (visiting every member at least once a month in their home, calling every person once a month, generally being their best friend and tending to their needs). I am not sure how taking care of the healthy is part of the work of the Kingdom. Jesus did not spend his time teaching the religious people about God. He talked to those who had never heard about Him. He spent his time with the sinners and tax collectors, those who needed to know that someone cared for them and that there was hope for their loves. He didn't just make the healthy feel good about themselves.

So that I am being as faithful as I know to be doesn't trouble me. That the results are not good does. Preaching the Gospel and teaching about the responsibilities of Christians to live out their faith (not just sit in the safety of the church) has caused many people to leave, and often with a bad taste in their mouth. Who we have (overall) is a strong group of faithful persons, but it worries me that our numbers and those who want to be a part of the work of God continues to decrease.

Well, enough rambling and complaining. Please be in prayer for communities that are trying to reclaim their calling and responsibilities as Christians and stop just sitting on the sidelines watching people suffer.

Keep the faith,
Chris